Hi, Kate!

I just discovered an exciting magic secret about Facebook that doesn't involve Farmville.

Doing research for an idea for a novel I have, I tracked down a few high school classmates. The class numbered over 150, and I connected with less than a dozen, but friending just exploded into a chatty little get-together that we could not have had by phone email, or in-person.

Ah, to meet with those you know and chat amiably, no matter how you're dressed. And, the best part is, you don't have to bring the 19th casserole on the picnic table. Nothing approaching the Royal Wedding Gift Failure: 1700 guests, 1700 toasters.

It's the kind of wide-open get-together not possible at a reunion or house party.

One thing that really illuminates the very best of Facebook, however, is a heartening check-in by one of the class wallflowers.

She's able to jump in, reply at will, share in a conversation among a small clot of people. She's awake, alive, and obviously smiling, as I never saw her in class.

No cliques, no factions, everyone has time to deliberate on their message and at least get that the best way they can, without a comedian's sense of high-gear brain processing.

Not a sitcom... just chat among friends who maybe never realized what kind of friends they could be.

--Dave

Craigslist: The World's #1 Slush Pile

This will be brief.

After goofing with Craigslist for a few months, I'm seeing what literary agents go through, and how--in the process of hunting for the diamonds--they could skip right by a few.

By my estimate, approximately 19 out of 20 of those who post something for sale on Craigslist don't know what they're doing. (I could be estimating low.)

They don't know how to market. their material or themselves.

Spelling and grammar and punctuation are way off the beam. Few come close, or nail those little devilish details.

Don't get me started on replies. Same thing. In equal proportion.

I wish it were not so. I feel for those who are giving it a try and wonder why their transaction dies in the ditch.

Now imagine whole pages of this stuff, herds of it, in your inbox.

These agents have to somehow spot something professional and enticing and throat-grabbing out of all that text and whatever else got thrown at them. I see many actually asking not to send checks, cash, money orders, lovely parting gifts, and consolation prizes. Wow. They do not sound like they're kidding.

I'm glad I'm not an agent.I'm only a published author who wants to do it again, and make a wildly commercial success out of all his future jottings, this time in the fray.

I don't think I have the harder of the two jobs.

--Dave

Restate Of The Union Address

I've been asked to restate my opinion on the current state of affairs between agents and prospective authors. As a bonus, I'll expand my comments, for the reason you'll read, shortly.

If there were some way to enhance the current wheezy and mechanical system of connecting agents and authors, I'm not only in favor, I'd be one to dive right in. Actually, I am.

As much as I don't want to come off as some desperate clinging author wanna-be (as so easily happens) I do not doubt the agents who face the daily slush avalanche would prefer to find a way to reply in some sensitive and human way, if they only had the time or could see through the surface of a less-than-stellar query.

Time does not allow much room for agents to appear as people to those they reject. Panic and anxiety and trying-too-hard rookie game play prevents authors from coming across as the next best-selling savvy and personable book club personality, so the hurly-burly comes from both sides.

Recently I swapped communications with an agent I'll call the Divine Miss M, who had a spam email disaster. I composed a brief note, with a suggestion of a preventative. We've connected, at least a little, maybe only to find some sympathy from each other for a few moments. I don't know if she'll wind up as my agent, but considering the many rejections I received and the horrific query letters that provoked them, those few very human messages stand out as just a little taste of how those who need each other in this industry will connect and form a superhero team to attack that bestseller list and conquer the summit. (I'm starting to see why I may have been rejected all those times. Maybe I should author comic books?) 

Could the answer be in the world of writer conferences, where people meet people, instead of text versus text? I know some agents do their shopping there exclusively, and they get the chance to see if the face behind the hot elevator pitch is as much of a potential media star as the book they present. (Nice package, there.) That's something that rarely has an opportunity to show itself in a query letter.

Maybe authors can post a brief YouTube pitch, and just send the link off to likely agents? Many, however, not only will not open attachments, they don't often state in what form they can use additional material requested, and virtually none will click on a link. There is some form of startled-bunny business model going around, and as a long-time techie, I wish I could allay their concerns. It's really not that bad out there, agents.

This will be worked out, in part, I'm sure. Already, sharp authors are approaching readers in ways never before attempted, forced in large part by the impersonal disconnect of ebooks. The first copy of THE KNUCKLEBOOK was an ebook, in .pdf format, swapped via email between me and my publisher, Ivan R. Dee. Not living in Chicago, I found that convenient, and so did Ivan, I'm sure; the whole book came together and saw publication in a matter of a few months--light speed for the industry.

I find agents who are otherwise respectable, who expressly ask for snail-mail queries. I have a big heart for all humans, even those in a time warp, so I'd be heartened to see those agents at least embrace email in part, if not entirely.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'm mulling how to hand out copies of my QR code so fans with smartphones can zip right to this blog. I have at least one YouTube video up relating to my knuckleball how-to book, and I've emailed personal notes with a one-of-a-kind autograph to a couple of readers. The all-new concept of electronically signing a page in an ebook is cool. I'm also about to set up video chat, so I can get facetime with readers no matter where I am or where they are. Why not?

The point is: All that's necessary.

People connecting with people.

With imagination, this can be done in exciting ways as never before.

I'm looking forward to hearing your comments, and ideas.

--AOL AIM: schoolzone1331.

Y R QR Codes On The QT?

The only problem I see with most authors failing to embrace many useful technologies is that they are not aware of them, which is too bad, because most are simple to handle, and there is plenty of help to be had to implement them.

Here's one that is easy enough to create, and the crazy costly expensive techie stuff is on the reader's end.

I'm talking about a QR code.

Here's mine:

You barely have to know what this does, just go online and find "how to create a QR code of your website URL address", and one like this is approximately a minute away.

This is cool to people with smartphones, and all you need to do is attach it to email or print correspondence or stationery (either email or paper).

What they'd do with this is aim their phone camera at it, and it'll trigger the phone to go to this blog. Yours will send them to yours, or your website.

Sort of like a barcode, and when someone finds it that simple to find your online stuff via their phone, well, isn't that the coolest?

--Dave

Osama Publicity

Anyone who's gotten a taste of OTHERS can see that the death of Osama bin Laden could provoke interest in what the manuscript details.

Imagine how things may develop if nobody knew how he was killed. Furthermore, what if this should happen to many more terrorists, vicious dictators, drug cartel leaders, right down to local violent criminals?

Ones remaining would have much more to fear, because they would have no idea who their peacekeeping enemies would be.

Innocent citizens around the world would be unnerved, not knowing who is protecting them.

Peace being a human concept, however, it's imperfect, even in an imaginary-yet-plausible world.

How would this affect anyone who would reveal who these good-guy terrorists are, and how would peace and violence affect individuals on a personal basis if this came to fruition?

OTHERS examines the question at length, in multiple layers, using the kind of psychology and rational thinking found in our daily lives.

I know what you're thinking: Sounds like common sense, which sometimes isn't exactly common.

True. That's why this revolves around a precocious overachiever, someone who would have little reason to get involved, and unlike most of history's violent perpetrators, this main character happens to be female.

We'll see how this all plays out.

Intrigued? Drop me a note.

Electronic Marketing

I run into a minority of literary agents who make at least a passing mention of their desire for authors who embrace electronic marketing.

Isn't it astonishing to you that it's only a minority? I, myself, wonder how many have a survival instinct, one you must have, if you want to exist in this new e-publishing landscape.

This is by no means a whine.

Any agent who mentions that gives me a light lift. The only issue with their listings as I see them is that they don't mention how a tech-savvy author (or author-to-be) should approach them, and just how much of the query should present that. I settle with a blog address with my personal contact info.

As soon as I get an agent, I'm ready to help them, and not the other way around.

The only reason why I haven't embraced everything cutting-edge already is that I not only don't have much time, and I don't see much reason for much e-marketing on a book that's been on the rack for a few years, which will never sell a million copies. I place my effort where it may pay off, not only for me, but for others.

Blogs, Twitter, email, there are easy ways to make a close connection with purchasers and fans. Here's an interesting and heartening example, from a few years back:

I logged on to my IM service and got a notice that one of the knuckleball fans on my message board was also on. I dropped a "HI... wassup?" and quickly discovered he was in the middle of his chem homework, and he needed help. I was a whiz at that in high school, and I quickly wound up explaining the difference between atomic numbers and atomic weights of elements depending on where they are on the Periodic Table.

Not because I'm an author of a nonfiction book. Because I could connect, the way the contact needed and wanted.

Funny, that of all the methods commonly mentioned to connect author and reader no matter where they are, IM is not mentioned.

I'm sold. It'll work.

One down.

Now I'm off to investigate electronically autographing ebooks... a cool concept that I've dabbled with by emailing personalized and autographed one-page notes.

Webcasting is on the shopping list, too.

I have a ColorNook in the house but it looks like I'll have to scoop up an iPad, just so I know how to deliver to it.

-- AIM IM: Schoolzone1331  

Opined Doors

I'm reminded of the Taxi episode in which Jim brought a few of his co-workers to his home. The camera showed an interior of a room, empty, except the walls were made entirely of doors. Dozens.

When one queries agents, one is in a room just like that.

You don't know which one gets you outta there, so you try them in turn, and wonder which one is an actual door that'll let you out.

What you're trying to leave is New Author Purgatory.

To get published, you really need an agent. Almost no publisher of any worth will take direct contact with a budding author.

That next-to-last word is more prickly than you may realize. I digress, and for a reason.

There are... hundreds? of literary agents running loose, and it's generally not a tough chore to identify which may be open to your work, and how to properly approach them.

There is not one, but two kickers.

You may need to query many of them--if not a bunch of them twice over the course of time--to get one interested enough to represent you.

Kicker #2: I'm a published author. Not a budding author... a real one. THE KNUCKLEBOOK was published without an agent, through a bizarre and convoluted string of events that reflects the subject, the wandering orb known as the knuckleball. I got the advance, earned it out in a few months by personally setting up signings at a couple dozen bookstores and talks in front of regional baseball fan groups. A website, too. Radio, print, and TV interviews. Initial print run was 1,000, and after four + years, it's sold over 3,000. In short, I've had at least a cup of coffee in the major leagues.

When it comes to rounding up an agent for OTHERS, that experience doesn't count for jack squat, it appears. You'd think that agents would have a strong interest in a manuscript backed by an author who already has a track record for pushing a book, one that earned out the advance (which happens seldom) and in a few months. No, they just want to know about that one manuscript, and you'd better serve up the taste just right, or your query is ash-canned. Sometimes, what that "just right" is supposed to be is foggy, and even when requirements are clear, following them to the semicolon doesn't seem to boost microscopic odds.

For an author doggedly working and planning to get a novel published and on the bestseller list, the path is a lengthy and constantly uphill one.

The authors on that bestseller list? They got there with very little luck, and mostly skill and persistence and refinement of the battle plan, it appears.

Oh, I did meet one author who wrote just a couple of queries and got an agent SNAP, but it was not a rookie accident. This author is a medical doctor, and she had to go through that educational proving ground and develop skills and experience and years of training to get that title... which helped her author her series of medical mysteries.

How ya gotta pay your dues is a universal mystery, but ya gotta pay them, somehow.

I really think I've paid them already, but apparently not.

Still trying doors.

--Dave